


Collars Are a Boy's Best Friend

by casey270



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Collars, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 11:36:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casey270/pseuds/casey270
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cross posting old fic here.  This is from 7/2010 and it was my first attempt a fic writing</p>
            </blockquote>





	Collars Are a Boy's Best Friend

The first time he puts a collar on it’s a joke. A drunken vacation picture that somehow looks hotter than he thinks it should. He keeps the picture because he really doesn’t understand why it makes him feel the way it does. It should be something silly to look back on later and laugh about, but he doesn’t feel like laughing when he looks at it.

 

The second time he puts on a collar he blames alcohol again. It seems like the type of thing the fans would like to see, but he finds it much harder to make himself take it off than it was to put on.

 

The next time a collar enters his life, he’s the one to initiate it. He doesn’t even have alcohol or the giddiness of a pressure-less vacation to blame this time. He just wants it. He wants to feel the confining reassurance against his skin. Somewhere deep inside, he likes the way it gives control to someone else. He’s just not sure who he’s giving control to when he puts it on in the privacy of his own bed.

 

He starts wearing a collar more and more. He has a pretty good selection of them by the time the tour starts, and he finds a way to get a new one each time they have an overnight stop. Slipping out for a quick, secret shopping trip becomes the norm. He really doesn’t want anyone else to know what he’s doing until he knows why he’s doing it.

 

In the beginning he sticks to pet collars. It’s easy to explain going into a pet store to buy a little present to send back home to some vague friend who may or may not have a pet in need of a collar. But he’s curious. The more collars he sees, the more he realizes that pet collars aren’t what he really wants. He wants something more - something darker, maybe.

 

He starts branching out when he’s on his shopping trips. The stores he visits are quieter now, because people just don’t talk to each other when they’re inside. People seldom even look at each other, let alone make eye contact. It makes him feel like he’s doing something wrong, so he hides what he’s doing even more.

 

But how can something that makes him feel so good be wrong? His mind is in a continual state of confusion, and it starts becoming a distraction. His fingers fumble on his bass when he’s on stage because he can’t wait to get back to the new collar he bought that day. He spaces out talking to a fan because he can feel the ghost of leather around his neck.

 

Everyone assumes that he’s either coming down with some bug or that he’s just hitting the pinnacle of tour boredom. He really needs to talk to someone about this but doesn’t know who. And he doesn’t know why.

 

What is it about having a collar around his neck that excites him so much? Why does he feel tremors run from the end of each strand of hair all the way to his toes whenever he puts one on? Why does he still feel as if something is missing in the equation?

 

He realizes that he still needs just a little more as he absently fingers his newest acquisition. His fingers drift to the attached ring as if trying to subconsciously guide his thoughts. But he remains clueless and yearning, still no closer to discovering the missing element.

 

He doesn’t know why he starts wearing the collar during the day. It just feels right. It feels as if it’s a part of him - a necessary part. He can’t really wear it on stage. His costume wouldn’t cover it, and he’s not in the right place in his mind to go public with it yet. He just knows that he wants to feel the security and tightness of it more and more. But he can wear it before he has to get ready. He just changes his wardrobe so it’s covered.

 

He’s not really surprised when Adam notices it during soundcheck. What does surprise him is that Adam doesn’t say anything about it. Aside from the raised eyebrow and the question in Adam’s eyes, he would think he’d gotten away undiscovered.

 

But he can see that questioning look in Adam’s eyes more and more. He responds by wearing the collar more often when he’s around Adam. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to do this any more than he knows why the collar seems so right to begin with. He just knows that the need is lessened when he has the collar and Adam close at the same time.

 

Or maybe the need isn’t lessened, but heightened instead. The intensity of it changes somehow, in some way that he can’t quite grasp. He feels at home and adrift. He feels comforted and aroused at the same time. He feels this is what should be, but he still wants more.

 

It happens one night at a show in some city that he’s never been to before. He’s not even sure where they are anymore. He just rides whatever bus they tell him to ride and plays for a crowd of faces that he can’t even see from the stage.

 

This night there was alcohol before the show – just enough to ensure everyone was loose and sexy on stage. The concert itself is hot and sweaty and dirty in the best way. The vibe from the crowd is for more, more, more. Looking out from the stage all he can see is a sea of arms waving in time to the music. These are the unpredictable shows. They take their cue from the audience as to how far they can go on stage, and this crowd is ready for anything.

 

When Adam struts up behind him, and he feels a hand reaching between his bass and his body, he knows tonight’s gonna go further than ever before. When the time for band introductions comes, he thinks he’s ready for whatever Adam might decide to do.

 

He expects to feel Adam’s arm over his shoulder, the weight of it known and comfortable. What he doesn’t expect is what’s hanging from Adam’s hand. He looks down, and what he sees causes his fingers to fumble on the familiar strings of his instrument. He can hear Adam telling the audience that he thinks it’s time for a new addition to Tommy’s typical stage-wear. He can feel the noise level of the audience in the pit of his stomach as Adam fastens the collar around his neck. But he’s hearing and feeling these things through a buffering layer. It’s almost as if he’s drowning, and he can’t seem to get enough air.

 

Everything resolves to crystal clarity when Adam hooks his finger through the ring of the collar and pulls just enough to let him know that Adam’s in charge now.

 

His face goes slack and his eyes glaze over for just a second as the crowed audience explodes with its approval. He can hear and see them now if he wants to, but he finds that being able to see the look of the hunter in Adam’s eyes is enough.

 

He realizes that this is what he was searching for, this is where he belongs.


End file.
